mini christmas tree

Dealing with Comparison over the Holidays

it’s that time of year again!

The holidays are here, which for many of us means that we’re experiencing some extra comparison (Christmas Comparison, if you will).  

Whether your comparisons are related to gifts, looks, the food on your plate… whatever it is, you are not alone.  I posted a poll on my Instagram stories to ask if anyone deals with comparison around this time of year, and almost every single person that answered said YES.  

It can be tough dealing with these feelings, especially during what is supposed to be the most joyful time of the year, but don’t worry!  I’m going to give you some helpful tips and hopefully provide a little comfort for you. (:

red mug

dealing with comparison over the holidays

be aware of your thoughts

It’s always good to be self-aware and watch what’s going on in your brain, but it can be especially helpful in times when you might be more prone to negative thoughts.  

You don’t have to live inside your head (in fact, please do not do this), but it’s good to check in on yourself every once in a while.

Maybe you choose one time every day to check in with yourself and see how you’re doing.  You can think out loud, journal it out, or just sit on it in silence.  

Just try to be in tune with your thoughts, that way you can follow the next step!

stop the negative thought cycles

If you catch yourself thinking negatively, shut it down.

Don’t keep dwelling on it, don’t slowly shift your attention… stop it IMMEDIATELY.  

I know this is really hard, and it takes some practice, but these are some things that I’ve found to help me:

  • counter your negative thought with its polar opposite (for example, if you’re thinking, “I look so bad in this outfit” tell yourself instead, “I look so good in this outfit.”)
  • find something to distract yourself (playing a game, reading a book, doing a puzzle, anything that keeps your brain occupied!)
  • talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend, your (future) child, or anyone else who you would want to be surrounded by positivity

affirm yourself

Keep a few mantras in your memory bank to repeat to yourself when you catch yourself in negative thought cycles of comparison.

You can use a favorite quote, Bible verse, song lyric, or come up with something of your own!

Here are some of my favorites:

  • “Your body is the least interesting thing about you.”
  • “What’s on your plate is no one else’s business.”
  • “A girl who is going to do big things cannot let small things get to her.”
  • “My productivity does not determine my worth.”

Sometimes it’s also helpful to be your own lil cheerleader and compliment yourself on things like your sense of humor, your outfit, your body, or whatever else you might be feeling a little insecure about! (:

take time to recharge

Spending time with your loved ones over the holidays is always nice, but it’s also helpful to recharge.

If you find yourself struggling with comparison, taking some time to be by yourself can make a world of difference.  

Try to do something enjoyable that will make you feel more optimistic during this time!

keep your distance from people who drain your brain

If you’re trying to be positive around someone and withhold from comparisons but someone is making it super difficult, it might be best to keep your distance.

I know this can be really difficult around the holidays, but you deserve to enjoy this season too!  And if someone’s inhibiting you from that, you don’t need them!

This also includes social media!!  I REPEAT: THIS INCLUDES SOCIAL MEDIA.  

If you find yourself comparing your life to a life someone portrays on Instagram, STOP THAT!  Exit the app, turn your phone off, and know that social media is a highlight reel.

celebrate everyone and everything

Often times when we find ourselves comparing something about ourselves to something about someone else, we are doing so because we are jealous.  Maybe we want what that other person has, maybe we want to be like that person.  And that can make this tip one of the more challenging ones.

However, it’s important to celebrate people – especially around the holiday season!  If someone has news worth celebrating, I encourage you to join in on the festivities.  People being happy for others’ happiness will never get old.

And remember, just because someone else has something you want does not mean that it’s not available to you!  If anything, they are showing you that it’s possible. (:

talk to someone who makes you feel good (:

Having someone to talk to – and maybe get advice from – when you are dealing with negative feelings is a GAME-CHANGER.  

Find someone you trust, and if you aren’t sure who to talk to, you can always message me. (:

know that this is normal and it will pass

Your worth and value does not decrease just because you are comparing yourself or your experience to someone else.  

This is a common human experience, and these feelings will pass.

Just keep reminding yourself that you are already worth it, you are already more than enough, and you are freakin’ awesome!!

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